The New York Times spent two pages recently claiming that even though fake tans have replaced real tans in desirability [Editor's Note: In what universe?], women are still only using fake tanner as an auxiliary to the very dangerous practice of real-tanning. Presumably until we can make tan skin undesirable, our young, white ladies won't be safe from cancer. And who's to blame for leading them down this toasty, dark, brown path?

...celebrities like Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria, with their own naturally glowing skin, are inspiring legions of imitators. Now starlets like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton often appear preternaturally bronzed. Even the model Natalia Vodianova, known for her porcelain face, appears this month in a Calvin Klein perfume ad looking as if she has been powdered with baked earth.

Naturally glowing, indeed. Now that Latinos are responsible for cancer, Bush should have no trouble getting that wall built. Not since Elvis swiveled his hips have this country's impressionables been in such peril.

Beware the Afterglow [New York Times]
Image [Getty]