You Got Some Splaining To Do: About Asian Latinos

Guanabee answers all your questions about Latinness.

Has anyone ever told you they’re Latin and you were all, nuh-uh! Or perhaps it is you who is often accused of misrepresentation simply because you do not resemble Juan Diego—he of the coffee picking fame? Personally, we have been both a victim and a perpetrator of such crimes of ignorance and consequently feel it our duty as your editors to help enlighten us all through a series of poorly researched (Wikipedia) articles highlighting each of the lesser-known Latin groups. In this edition, we tackle the mythical Asian Latino. “ASIAN Latinos?” you ask. Yes! Wikipedia has pictures of them and everything:

As seen at left, (from left to right), they can take on the form of former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori of Japanese descent, Brazilian model Juliana Imai of Japanese and Portuguese descent and American physicist-Astronaut Franklin Chang-Diaz of Chinese-Cost Rican descent. (Phew. Is that Chang-Diaz going for the world’s record for most ethnicities in a single person or what?) But these guys aren’t the only ones. In fact, Asians have been immigrating to Latin America since at least the 1500’s when the first Filipino sailors made their way into our many ports. And we all know what sluts sailors can be.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re looking at a Latino with Asian ancestry. For example, did you know legendary singer Ana Gabriel comes from a Chinese-Mexican family? We didn’t! But now that we look at her again, that shit do make sense.

It’s easy to overlook because most Latinos have some Native American ancestry and to get really Darwinian on your ass, all our ancestors came across the Bering Strait from—wait for it—Asia. Which basically means, we are all, in a sense, Latinos of Asian descent. Do you feel it like we do?

But there’s one problem. The name, Asian Latinos: it’s cumbersome. Can our readers help us christen a new one? Latasians? Asianos? Hispasians? Do send your suggestions and sushi enchilada recipes here. Muchos arigatos.

Asian Latin American [Wikipedia]
El Panda Image [Vinyl Pulse]