Bolivian President Fights For Your Right To Get A Nosebleed At Soccer Games

The following opener comes from an article in yesterday’s New York Times on Bolivian president Evo Morales, who actually wins his people over when pulling a PR stunt:

BOLIVIA’S president, Evo Morales, donned a green jersey the other day, watched a llama sacrifice for good luck and flew to a snowy spot nearly four miles above sea level, where he scored the winning goal in a brief match pitting him and his aides against a group of mountain climbers.

Presidente Morales went through all this trouble (do you know how hard sacrificing a llama is?) to protest a recent ruling by almighty soccer-governing body FIFA that banned international soccer games from turf 8,200 feet above sea level, or higher. The organization claims the ‘beautiful game’ at such heights is “medically challenging.”

Other countries who consider this assessment a ploy to hate on soccer that causes brain swelling include Colombia, Ecuador, and Perú–all mountainous and fanatical about their national sport. We’re afraid this is just the start of a startling trend, where the citizens of Latin American countries are forbidden to do a number of things way above sea level.

If you’re reading this in South America, be sure visit the Mile High Club as much as possible before someone decides to ban high altitude sex.

Bolivians in High Dudgeon Over Soccer Ban [NYTimes]
Image [Dado Galdieri / NYTimes]