Puerto Rican actor Amaury Nolasco got light and fluffy coverage today in Hispanic Business to pat him on the back for a role in next week’s cinematic juggernaut Transformers. Based on what we gather from the article, he plays some expendable Latino soldier nicknamed “Fig” (shortened from “Figueroa” by a crafty Jewish screenwriter) who battles fictional robots and probably dies early on. Which is why we almost keeled over with laughter when Nolasco dropped the following gem on us:

I really liked playing a Latino that is such a positive portrayal of our culture. Figueroa is a military guy who is among the best of the best. It’s great to play that, especially with so many Latinos fighting overseas […]

Seems Nolasco’s head is too far up his ass to acknowledge the fact that, just like his real-life counterparts, Figueroa is gonna get killed in the desert without much ado.

Such genuinely spouted hot air begged the question, what kind of ‘portrayals’ did he grind out before landing this ‘positive’ one? IMDb to the rescue! The site reveals that our hero has turned in such constructive performances as a sketchy streetracer named Orange Julius in “2 Fast 2 Furious”, a guy referred to simply as Carlos in Rob Schneider/David Spade flop “The Benchwarmers” (never heard of it, either), and escaped convict with a heart of gold, Fernando Sucre, in the TV series “Prison Break.” What could possibly put the brakes on such breakneck progress? We dunno, maybe winding up in a romantic comedy. Oh, wait—the article quotes Nolasco as saying he wants to do that. Touché, Amaury, touché.

‘Transformers’ Actor: More Than Meets the Eye [Hispanic Business]
Amaury Nolasco [IMDb]
Image [Prison Break]