Beauty pageant, shmeauty pageant. In Guanabee’s opinion, there’s no better way of repping your home country than having a bunch of egghead economists examine its societal woes and measure them against the shittiness factor in other countries. Lucky for us, The Economist Intelligence Unit—modesty, you know—just released the findings of its first ever Global Peace Index, naming the United States as the 96th least peaceful (or 26th most hostile) nation in a batch of 121. Contestants…er, countries lost points according to their citizens’ access to “weapons of minor destruction” (those gadgets protected by the 2nd amendment), their government’s level of respect for human rights (see Abu Ghraib), military expenditure (remember, world: these colors don’t run), relations with neighboring countries (just talk to our buddy Mexico!), and level of distrust in other citizens (the Patriot Act works wonders, don’t it?). Other highlights include:

•Chile, the most peaceful Latin American country, comes in at #16; who knew sea bass had such a calming effect?

•Ironically, Mexico, Cuba, and Panama finished ahead of their star-spangled big brother to the norte

•Colombia, five spots short of dead last at #116, earned the dubious recognition of Latin America’s least peaceful; not a surprise, coming from the nation who brought you Pablo Escobar and the Medellín Cartel

In the end, one of the head researchers set straight our politicized notions about good and evil:

Democracy didn’t actually correlate with peace, but a well-functioning democracy did. Efficient, accountable government seems to be the leading determinant of peace. Beyond that, income helps.

Of course, income also helps you become a douchebag.

US ranks low, just above Iran on new peace index [Reuters]
Image [BettysDoves.com]
Earlier, Trends: Introducing the Mexican American Prince