WednesdayJune202007

The Pope Becomes the World's Holiest Backseat Driver

Pope_Driving_6_19_07.jpg The Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Migrants and Itinerant People (a council responsible for making Catholics who move around the world stay Catholic) has released a 36-page document outlining the “10 Commandments” of safe driving. Some highlights include:
• “Thou shalt not drive and drink.”
• “Thou shalt help accident victims.”
• “Thou shalt not make rude gestures behind the steering wheel.”
It’s about time that the only guy who rides around the world in a bubble did his part to fight road rage. Pope Benedict XVI’s people even go so far as to dub the automobile an “occasion for sin,” especially when it’s used for prostitution. In related news, coming soon to MTV’s prime time line-up — “Pimp My Occasion For Sin!”

His Holiness has been nothing but a darling in the public eye of his Latino followers these past few months. First, he tells Mexican legislators that they’ll be excommunicated if they promote something so passé as abortion rights. Then, he suggests the AIDS-ravaged people of Brazil practice abstinence instead of using condoms; Brasileña model Gisele had a field day with that one. Somewhere along the line, he told multiple governments that the only institution capable of “civilizing” their indigenous peoples was the Catholic Church.
And now he’s asking us to not flip the bird when some pendejo cuts us off! How rude.

Vatican’s ‘driving commandments’ [BBC News]
Image [Images.BusinessWeek.com]
Earlier, Gisele’s Two Cents: No One Is A Virgin When They Marry

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