Without Tits There Is No Telenovela

For his first trick as recently-anointed head of NBC Programming, Ben Silverman has bought the rights to Colombian telenovela “Sin tetas no hay paraíso”. “Without Breasts There is no Paradise” is the working title, but it doesn’t work for us since ‘tetas’ clearly means ‘tits’. We won’t be able to look away after Silverman–who pulled “Ugly Betty” out of Colombian soap op “Yo soy Betty, la Fea” (I am Ugly Betty)–works his rip-off magic with this minefield of a concept:

“Sin tetas,” from Colombia’s Canal Caracol, focused on a young woman determined to get bigger breasts in order to escape poverty. She ends up working as a prostitute, getting involved with drug dealers in the process.

Regarding the controversy surrounding the show’s intended message when it aired in Latin America (that message being, Latina women are meat / fake tits are cool / buy more shampoo), a local academic phoned in a reply from the Department of Obvious Observations:

“The only thing the producers were after in showing so much cleavage was a higher rating,” Bogata National U. researcher Florence Thomas told the AP.

Maybe it should be called “No Chichis, No Dollars.” Come up with your own name after watching the original show’s opening credits below:

‘Paradise’ found at NBC [Variety]
Intro Sin tetas no hay paraíso [YouTube],