Coldplay’s Hispanic-Themed Album A Spicy “Prospekt” (Gag)

In light of news that Coldplay’s upcoming release carries a pre-meditated “Hispanic theme,” we present the album review–headline and all–that we imagine some dweeb at a weekly alternative paper would write if he were possessed by Guanabee. (It’s the kind of review we hate reading, but have fun mocking.)

As highly-anticipated follow-up recordings go, Coldplay’s upcoming release of Prospekt is the ying to X&Y’s yang a mere two years after the band’s emotional romp through clairvoyance opened third eyes everywhere. The boys from London have exchanged Chris Martin’s infamous keys and other elements of their soothing electronica for something more exotic, owing to the album’s Hispanic inspiration. What listeners get is an earful of Argentina, Spain, Brazil, and Mexico–all their spiciness dampened by an English sensibility so you don’t get the runs. Highlights include a track inspired by latently homo-erotic Brazilian music trend, Funk da Cueca, and the band’s praiseworthy attempt to capture the anarchists roaming Barcelona with a full string ensemble. Whether or not it agrees with old guard Coldplay fans, Prospekt celebrates the rockers’ acceptance of their mainstream appeal among brown people.

Coldplay ‘Hispanic’ comeback [BBC]