Even Cute Bunny Rabbits Think Jessica Alba Should Shut Up
24 July 2007, 5:11 PM. By Carlos Posas
Remember when we commented on the remark Jessica Alba made about wanting male [genitalia] in her face the next time she cracked open a woman’s magazine? Well, we weren’t the only ones. Meet Buns and Chou Chou–a pair of bunny rabbits who, for whatever reason, speak in an obnoxious falsetto as they weigh in on Alba’s “campaign” to get cock published in a magazine like Elle. The above clip goes from funny ha-ha (the rabbit with a shitty cockney accent explains that ‘muy caliente’ is ‘hooot’ in English) to funny weird (gratuitous subtitles illustrate different nicknames for the penis) to downright bizarre. Its conclusion, though, makes perfect sense to us: maybe Jessica Alba should just shut her pie hole, once and for all. Just a suggestion.
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Nobody condemned Jon Spencer when he made the aesthetically indefensible assertion, “I wanna see a lil’ more fat”, but everyone’s riding Ms Alba for the quite rational assertion, “I wanna see a little more cock”. Well, pshaw, on all of you. Meanwhile, I’ll be dropping my trousers to Ms Alba. How you like that?
So long as the action is between you and Ms. Alba is mutually appreciated who are we to quibble?
Yo Biggie,
It’s not so much the cock crusade we’re bothered by. (In fact, we’d like to see mags like Redbook and Cosmo hang loose with their “better sex” features by including flesh-and-blood diagrams.) It’s more the Jessica Alba opens-her-mouth-and-it’s-considered-newsworthy-by-default thing that annoys us. Which is why we report on it.