‘Forbes’ Reveals That Money, Latinas Give Its Readers A Hard-On
17 July 2007, 3:00 PM. By Carlos Posas
Perhaps to appease Mexican gazillionaire Carlos Slim for still not officially naming him the world’s richest man, Forbes has released a list of ‘Hollywood’s 15 Sexiest Celebrities’ that’s a full third Latina. The women’s rankings are based on what percentage of 3,000 pollsters considered each of them ’sexy.’ (Highly scientific, we know.) Judging from the varying skin tones of the list’s women and their average age of 36, we’d say the pollsters are middle-aged, middle-to-upper class males whose interaction with brownies is limited to the chats they have with their gardeners. Without further ado, trot out the mamis:
#1, Salma Hayek with 65%
#2, Jessica Alba with 64%
#4, Shakira with 63%
#5, Eva Longoria tied with Beyoncé and Halle Berry at 59%
#12, Jennifer Lopez with 54%
We’d like to point out that old school actress Raquel Welch ranked higher than J. Lo by three spots, despite being nearly 30 years her senior. Turns out crow’s feet are sexier to Forbes readers than hoop earrings and neediness.
Hollywood’s Sexiest Celebrities [Forbes]
Image [Campari Promotional Calendar]
Earlier, Introducing… Carlos Slim Helú
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Try… Just try to think of anything but sex while ensnared in the hypnotic pull of that cleavage. I mean, Julio Montenegro might want to turn a little straight for Hayek’s chesticles.
Salma is quite beautiful, that is why when I posted over at our blog, regarding Forbes “sexy” list, I located a photo where for once she looked human.
Yeah, I know it’s mean, but like I said “we want to enjoy her pregnancy each and every day”.
So sue us.
Isn’t Raquel Welch an undercover Mexican? I seem to remember her admission of Latin blood in the wake of the 1999 Latin Pop Explosion.