America’s Got Shit For Brains: Exit Boy Shakira/Shakritney

Some people who still watch television told us that our new favorite obsession, Boy Shakira, who made it to the final twenty on “America’s Got Talent” two weeks ago, was knocked out last week in the final ten elimination round. Even though he managed to win the hearts of 2 out of 3 judges, (fuck the Hoff, by the way), it was America, yes you the common people, who voted him off in lieu of other acts like horsefaced, fiddling family the Duttons. Does America really need another set of Osmonds? Or could we have benefited further from a man who’s unafraid to don a half-shirted, fuzzy cardigan and work that shit all over the stage? We think you know the answer to that one, America. We can only say, Boy Shakira, we loved ye. And in our hearts, you’re number one.

Boy Shakira coverage on Guanabee