It’s almost comical how Andy Rooney, the CBS columnist/fossil so decrepit you can almost smell his flatulence through the television on Sunday nights, keeps saying offensive things about people in the press, but never loses his many lucrative writing jobs because, well, he’s obviously senile. Almost. This time Andy’s foot, purple from the poor circulation that afflicts the elderly, is in his mouth after he opined on the current state of professional baseball in Connecticut’s Stamford Times:

I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today’s baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me. They’re apparently very good, but they haven’t caught my interest.

The New York Times caught up with A-Roo via telephone where he conceded his faux pas, but doubted he’d apologize for it officially in any future columns. “I certainly didn’t think of it in any derogatory sense. That’s what I do for a living, I write columns and have opinions, and some of them are pretty stupid.” Seems like a hell of a gig if you can get it! Also, Andy Rooney wants you to know he does not have a boner in that picture. That part of his anatomy hasn’t worked since the Nixon administration.

Andy Rooney Regrets a Racist Comment in a Recent Column [New York Times]