For Dog the Bounty Hunter, What Happened In Mexico Really Does Stay In Mexico

We’ve been ignoring this news for a while now, mainly cuz we feel the man at the center of it gets enough press as is. But as of today, the cat’s fully out of the bag; meaning, we’ve come up with a to cover it that won’t bruise our egos. (Southpark soothes like that.) Charges of illegal detention and conspiracy against Duane “The Dog” Chapman and two of his bounty-hunting henchmen have been dropped by a Mexican court because they exceeded the statute of limitations, a development which made Chapman shout–no joke–”¡Viva la Mexico!” The twist is that prosecutors have appealed the decision, out of principle. (We swear Mexican litigators do stuff out of principle from time to time.) Since bounty-hunting is illegal in Mexico, the charges stem from Chapman’s capture of convicted rapist and Max Factor heir Andrew Luster over four years ago in Puerto Vallarta; shit hit the fan when Dog and his cohorts returned to the U.S. instead of the Mexican courtroom they were supposed defend themselves in, prompting an American judge to sign a warrant for their extradition–over two years after the fact. (Really helped them out, huh, pal?)

So as you can imagine, Chapman has since then been doing his thing safely in the land of the free: being the star of countless book signings, praising Christ, and passing the ammunition. Which is a lesson to all you kiddies out there who wanna grow up big and strong like The Dog, so you can bag bad guys left and right the way he does: as long as you’re a rising American celebrity, even a B-list one at, it’s okay to violate local law in a silly land like Mexico. Just make sure to elude the federales long enough for those charges to expire, and you’re golden. Oh, and don’t forget to nab yourself a reality show while you’re at it!

Appeal filed on Dog the Bounty Hunter case [TV Squad]
Bounty hunter Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman arrested [MSNBC]
Image [Google]