We were supposed to announce the winner of the Spic Pics caption contest featuring J. Lo and Marc Anthony, but, frankly, those submissions blow. So instead, here’s a commenter who knows how not to. Proving once again that the phenomenon known as Noelia brings out the best in our readers, Boricua biatch left the following nugget after Noelia Swears She’s Not Married, Brings Her Bullshit Count Up to Umpteen:

I saw the video and grrrllllll!!!! If u are going to pull that porn video shit please look in a mirror before and see how u look with your arsole and your f-hole spread 6 inches in diameter each and then maybe reconsider another angle more makeup and a more flattering position…I love myself some porno but this video wa’ant sexy at all. Yikes!

We salute you, Boricua biatch, for giving us enough context to define ‘f-hole’ without consulting a dictionary. It just goes to show you, kids: one good bit of advice is all it takes to be on the next (say it with us) Guanabee! Commenter! Shout Out!

Earlier, Guanabee Commenter Shout Out: Indiscreetly Licking Our Lips At You From Across The Room