Jessica Alba’s Swayback Scientifically Proven

There appears to be truth behind the “swayback” slur that has haunted Jessica Alba since the 8th grade. While most of the third world continues to starve, drown or die of AIDS, scientists at Cambridge University have been busy proving Jessica Alba is built with the perfect mathematical set up for a “sexy sway”:

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman’s walk - and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better. This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion.

The Jessica Alba sashay beat off competition from Kate Moss, Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, whose walk along a railway platform in Some Like It Hot is one of the most famous in film history. While Monroe was a fraction off the target ratio with 0.69, the Cambridge team said that Alba had the perfect proportions.

Thank God that’s settled. Now if we can just get them to calculate the percentage of nopal she has coming out of her forehead, we can move on to more important matters.

Jessica Alba has the perfect wiggle, study says [The Telegraph]
Con el Nopal en la Frente [Susan Shelton]