Seeing how much you love exchanging barbs over Miss Alba’s ethnic ambiguity, we’re stoking the fire by presenting bits of a handwriting analysis that fem blog Jezebel had done on the actress’ answers to Cosmopolitan’s latest “Cosmo Quiz.” Graphologist Sheila Kurtz probably doesn’t consider her findings as vague as the daily horoscope, but we do and are therefore twisting them to fit our own conclusions:

The form of the letters is also block-style printing: such writers are consciously careful not to show on the surface what may be bubbling underneath.

That ‘what’ bubbling underneath is the menudo of her self-loathing, leaving an odor ever so stinky and hard to hide. Next!

The writer can leap from fact to fact, and over many unknowns, in order to arrive at trustworthy conclusions.

Just like she can leap from culture to culture, and over unknown trauma, in order to arrive at the most bankable image. Follow the link below for the whole, boring analysis.

‘Cosmo’ Cover Girl Jessica Alba: Emotionally Unavailable, Intuitive, Creatively Unfulfilled [Jezebel]
Image [Cosmopolitan via Jezebel]