Hillary Clinton, the Democratic presidential candidate who would earn more Latino votes than La Virgen de Guadalupe herself, probably never saw it coming. Some businessman in Minneapolis has sold thousands of the product seen here, called (in a stroke of genius) “The Hillary Nutcracker,” to what we can only imagine is a slackjawed group of consumers who consider jokes about balls brilliant. Naturally, über-conservative paper the New York Post eats the shiz up:

Beware, sugarplum fairies of the political world, there’s a new nutcracker in town - and her name is Hillary. The Hillary Nutcracker, which sells for $19.95, is quickly becoming the most Hill-arious joke of the campaign trail.

(Does that even count as journalism, much less a printable pun?) We can’t fathom the hell that the paper would raise if someone merchandised a doll called Rudy “Grab My Jewels” Giuliani. Which is why we love that they have no problem making fun of a woman with a pair of her own.

Nut Buster: Wacky Hillary Gizmo Is A Real Easy Shell [NY Post]
Image [Zandy Mangold / NY Post]
Earlier, South Texas Paper: Not Even La Virgen Could Save the G.O.P.