It Wasn’t Diego Maradona. It Was the One-Armed Man!

Argentinian soccer superstar, globe-trotting celebrity, cocaine junkie, rehab flunkie, tax evader, America-hater, Hugo Chávez homeboy–if the shoe fits, Diego Maradona has worn it proudly over the past two decades since cheating in and winning the 1986 World Cup. (You didn’t think his nickname, “the Hand of God,” was a compliment, did you?) Now a judge has slapped him with a new title: fugitive. He’s due to be manhandled as such for failing to appear in court and face charges stemming from a Britney-esque vehicular encounter last year, where Maradona jumped a sidewalk in his pick-up, slammed into a phone booth, and injured a young couple nearby with exploding shards of glass. Surprise, surprise! Cops allege he fled the scene.

The paunched icon phoned in a denial of involvement from Colombia, where he’s currently undergoing cosmetic dental surgery. (Did we mention he’s vain as fuck?) The sad thing is, he’s still got a long way to go before tabloids here will even consider creaming their covers with his misadventures. Or, he could always go the reality TV route…

Otro problema para Diego [La Opinión via Vivir Latino]
Image [Google]