As fans that hang on to, and subsequently mock, Jessica Alba’s every word, we were thrilled to find, on blog Corporate Casual, an insightful analysis of Jessica’s new “comedy career” based on something she told CNN recently. First the Alba quote:

JESSICA ALBA: Yeah, I’ve always been wanting to do comedy. That’s one of the main reasons I got into this business in the first place. I’ve always loved to make people laugh and it was the way that I sort of broke the ice when I was a kid with my friends. I’d always do little skits or do little things, do anything really, to make people laugh. Oddly, in this business, I never really got a shot at it. I’m not good at the half-hour comedy ba-dum-bump stuff. I’m more into the physical comedy.
(CNN)

Jessica Alba’s first album will, of course, be titled “Half-Hour Comedy Ba-Dum-Bump Stuff”. Here is a track listing (subject to change).

1. Intro

2. When I Wash My Hair, You Guys, I Follow the Instructions on the Shampoo Bottle

3. What’s the Most Money You Think You Could Spend on a Pair of Jeans? Double It, Then Get Them for Free from Your Publicist

4. Sushi (Skit)

5. This One Time I Was Hanging Out with Jack Nicholson in a Hot Tub, You Guys

6. Did You Ever Notice How There’s More Leg-Room in First Class?

7. Grape Nuts

8. One Time I Farted and Gold Came Out (Skit)

9. What’s the Deal with Cashmere Blends?

10. I Tell Reporters I’m a “Total Dork” to Try and Avoid the Public Image of a Self-Obsessed, Vapid, Talentless Sex Object Who Only Has About Three More Years of Career Left Before Slowly Drinking Myself to Death in a “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” Scenario Come to Life, Which Is More Accurate.

11. Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Well, the Answer is No.

12. Farts and Butts

13. The Difference Between Having Sex for Money and Being Jessica Alba Is There Aren’t Any Temper Tantrums in Having Sex for Money

14. A Joke I Stole from Dane Cook

15. I’m Surprised I’m Not a Cocktail Waitress, Too

16. Darfur (skit)

17. The Sexiest Woman Alive Still Stares Into The Gaping Maw of the Eternal Nothing When the Sun Goes Down

18. Outro

Jessica Alba Just Want Make Yuck Yucks [Corporate Casual]
Earlier: The Unbearable Lightness of Being Jessica Alba