Like A Menudo Member Whose Balls Have Dropped, Carlos Is Outta Here

This indeed is a bittersweet day at Guanabee. Bitter because this is our associate editor Carlos Nobleza Posas’ last day. Sweet because our little baby is all grown up and going off to Spain to teach English and try to have sex with Spanish girls who might mistake him for exotic! We’ve filled him with all the advice we can. Like not telling anyone over there that he’s American cuz George Bush has pretty much cock-blocked our entire country, but we digress. This is about Carlos. The little, brown-eyed boy from Louisiana who stole our hearts. Join us after the jump, won't you, as we stroll down memory lane through the highlights and lowlifes that were our summer of Carlos. First of all, there’s the hair. It defies explanation, really. It just sort of…envelops you in its love. Just let it happen. We did and we never looked back. (Cuz you can't see anything when that mop is in your way.) Then, there’s the striking resemblance to Mario Lopez, which, bless his heart, little Carlitos sees as an asset. (We don’t like to tell him what a dork Mario is. It’s hard enough for him having the same tiny dick genes as Enrique Iglesias.) Then, of course, there’s the fact that, for the good of the site, he’s tirelessly worked to find his inner gay despite the fact that he is the straight boy-iest straight boy you could ever hope to meet. Some of our fave gay things he wrote this year: Take it away, Stardust and Mayflowers! - July 13, 2007 (Extensions, chemical processes, Elmer’s glue: you name it!) - June 15, 2007 It's About Time They Bedazzled Shirts In Spanish - June 14, 2007 I loved Carlton! - July 30, 2007 Mario Lopez And I Were Separated At Birth - July 19, 2007 Thanks for all your hard work, Carlitos. We may have whipped you like a lowly, entry-level associate editor, made you the butt of all our jokes and even whored you out to some of the guests, but we like to think you're leaving here a more worldly and sensitive man because of it. You came in an NYU grad, but you leave here a Guanabee. We only hope the women of Sevilla and the bulls of Pamplona know what they're in for.