New York city officials have confirmed that they’re done searching for a new site for Astroland, effectively killing Brooklyn’s legendary amusement park at Coney Island upon which all amusement parks after it were modeled. (Can’t you tell we’re all emotional about it?) It will most likely be remembered as the place where the hotdog was invented, or—God forbid—the setting for Mitch Albom’s best-selling schlockfest from years ago, The Five People You Meet In Heaven. But given the shift in demographics NY has undergone over the past few decades, we’d like to think of it as a summer-time haven for brown swarms of massive Latino families from the surrounding borough and Queens. (Not to mention an eager employer of their kids.) Astroland’s legacy will live on in the Cyclone Roller Coaster, a dilapidated wooden joyride that avoided relocation with its historical landmark designation. Hurray for splinters!

ASTROLAND DOOMED AT CONEY IS. [NY Post]
Image [Getty]