When Whitey Bitches And Moans, Everybody Wins

File the following away under web anomaly entirely void of context: a site called “White Whine boasts “a new White person complaint every day of the week,” inviting vanilla- faced readers to vent via e-mail. (For some perspective on its tone, one of them laments “Ugh, all the good gmails are taken.”) The gripes collectively seem too formulaic in their stereotyping–i.e., entertaining–to be actual complaints made by real people, so their real charm lies in picturing a brown (or Black) writer hunched over his keyboard and cranking them out according to some manual authored by pre-burnout Dave Chappelle. Here are some of our favorites:

What do you mean you only have menthol left?

Why are there only three flavors of Baked Lays? I really think there should be more.

The problem with the Hamptons is that there are so many mosquitoes!

These rollerblades hurt my arches!

As a well-meaning rebuttal, we propose a mirror site based on the opposite end of the privilege spectrum ridiculed by White Whine. Our inaugural complaint for “Brown Beef”:

I hate it when the coyotes don’t poke holes in their cargo trailers. It’s hot as shit in here.

Clearly, the title isn’t the only thing that needs work.

White Whine [Tumblr]