New York Magazine’s “Daily Intelligencer,” in their recurring report on the lives of random New Yorkers, took a look into the day-to-day musings of one of those dudes you cross the street to avoid. He talks about his girlfriend’s breasts, his girlfriend’s thong, his girlfriend’s oral prowess, the fact that he totally has a girlfriend and his ability to tell a woman’s ethnicity simply by staring deep into her mystical chocha:

8:30 a.m.: On the subway. A gaggle of giggling, jiggling, Catholic schoolgirls gallop by. I remind myself that I am not a pedophile.

10 a.m.: Get dirty look from Latina lovely for openly gawking at her camel toe. Fuck her! If she doesn’t want people to stare she shouldn’t wear pants that make her lap look like it’s smuggling a yo-yo.


That is so hot. There’s nothing quite as sexy as xenophobia, with, perhaps, the exception of war crimes or venereal disease.

The Randy Sonic Toothbrush User [New York Magazine]