U.S. Border Patrol officials finally released plans recently for the 700-mile stretch of “fence” the government hopes to build along the Texas-Mexico border. Though the majority of Texans have expressed their vehement opposition to the plan, citing reasons like economics, environmentalism and, you know, not wanting to be xenophobic assholes, the government seems to be happily plowing on in a federal version of sticking their fingers in their ears and saying la, la, la. Highlights from the official document include the following specs:

• 15 feet high and extend below ground
[Ed. Note: They ain’t risking any Harriet Tubman action.]

• Capable of withstanding a crash of a 10,000-pound (gross weight) vehicle traveling at 40 miles per hour
[Ed: Sorry, Thelma and Louise.]

• Capable of withstanding vandalism, cutting, or various types of penetration
[Ed: Anyone currently having an affair with a Mexican cow, say your goodbyes. ]

• Semi-transparent, as dictated by operational need
[Ed: For better to shoot mojados with.]

• Designed to survive extreme climate changes
[Ed: Which in South Texas would be hot and My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?]

• Designed to reduce or minimize impacts on small animal movement
[Ed: Provided the small animal is at least 15 feet tall.]

• Not impede the natural flow of water
[Ed: Really? Because famers upstream have been stealing the Rio Grande Valley’s water for years. So if this wall can fix that, you might have some people on your side.]

• Aesthetically pleasing to the extent possible.
[Ed: We’re thinking little horseshoes nailed on top would be cute.]

[It’s] particularly disturbing, as it includes mileage beyond the 700+ mandated by the Secure Fence Act running up the coast from Boca Chica. I would urge everyone to submit a comment at the bottom of the page, then call Senators Cornyn and Hutchison and demand that they stop this monstrosity in its tracks. The Border Patrol and Department of Homeland Security have said on a number of occasions that the wall will only slow a crosser down by a few minutes, despite a price tag of over $46 billion. Though it won’t stop human border crossers, it will do tremendous damage to our communities and environment.

And, “If approved, construction of the new Tactical Infrastructure would begin in Spring 2008 and continue through December 31, 2008.” (Merry Christmas and Happy New World Order, everybody.) But blogger Off The Kuff brings up a good point:

The government plans to erect much of the fence along river levees maintained by the International Boundary and Water Commission, which has determined much of the levee system has eroded and needs to be repaired.

So, eventually, in addition to not stopping any illegals, it will also be costing us money to fix. Sounds about right. Check out the plans in detail here and leave a comment for Big Brother, if you dare.

BORDER FENCE DETAILS NOW AVAILABLE [Off The Kuff]
Earlier: Congressman Tancredo Says Texas Border Towns Should Be Located In Mexico
Every Month Is Latino Heritage Month: South Texas Mayors Block Wall