Alex Rodriguez

Hugo Chavez

• Eligibility: Dominican-American from Miami
• Claim To Fame: Most highly paid contract in sports history. Never mind that he didn’t score anything for the Yankees for two seasons.
• Why He’s Embarrassing: Married A-Rod fell in the public’s esteem when, in May 2007 he was spotted at a Toronto strip club with Joslyn Noel Morse, an exotic dancer at Scores Las Vegas who was featured in Playboy. During that week, the two were spotted in more places than Elvis’ ghost. Shortly thereafter, his wife Cynthia appeared at one of his games showing the signs of stress on her back. It read, “Fuck You.”

• Eligibility: Venezuelan From Sabaneta, Barinas.
• Claim To Fame:President of Venezuela, but we’re big fans of his music.
• Why He’s Embarrassing: It’s hard to believe the man isn’t a megalomaniac when he’s closing down news stations that report any difference of opinion from his and changing the constitution so that he can be president forever. Plus, most Venezuelans are still, you know, starving and unemployed. Then, of course, there’s the cavorting with movie stars, the television show and the new album. It makes you wonder if he missed his calling as a rockstar. At least then we’d have a 50/50 chance of him wrapping himself around a telephone pole or choking on his own vomit.