Puerto Rican singer and member of the Disney-manufactured girl group The Cheetah Girls, Sabrina Bryan, was serenaded by Mark Ballas, her boyfriend and Dancing With the Stars (like, in what universe are these supposed stars?) partner.

“Isn’t he the cutest thing in the world,” Bryan gushed to People moments after Ballas presented her with a large bouquet of flowers.

Uh, no. Christ. If we had Ballas, they’d be ascending into our bodies right now. The only thing worse than PDA is PDA between people who act like it’s the “cutest thing in the world.” There’s nothing cute about having someone pick your lunch out of your teeth with his tongue.

Neckless Barbie Gets Serenaded [Lossip]