MTV Tr3s Wants You To Form Con3xions With People You’ll Never Actually M33t

Proving it isn’t done quite yet with churning out obnoxious names for things, MTV Tr3s is set to launch Con3xion, a mobile social network [Ed. note: Doesn't this already exist? And isn't it called "going out with people?"] aimed at Latinos. Break out the digital camera and adjust your lighting situation, kids, it’s misleadingly-flattering picture time:

Mobile content is key to the success of MTV Tr3s in extending the viewer’s connection with the brand beyond the TV channel. Notably, 63 percent of Hispanics own a media-capable cell phone compared with 46 percent of non-Latinos, and 23 percent of Latinos are more likely to use their cell phones to watch video content, according to MTV Networks’ Slivered Screen.

They’re watching porn, you morons.

“Young Latinos are highly engaged with media that is relevant to them and they have proven to be extremely enthusiastic users of mobile technology,” said Lucia Ballas-Traynor, svp, gm of MTV Tr3s. “

God, don’t you all see you’re being turned into sheep? Cheap and willing fodder for products and services you don’t need peddled by soulless media conglomerates that will only serve to further isolate you from friends and family and trap you in a bubble of self-absorption and entitlement with a crippling addiction to instant gratification? Make a movie! Read a book! Write a poem! Paint something!

God.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, it looks like our crush changed his Top 8. We must investigate.

MTV Tr3s Plans Mobile Social Network [Ad Week]