Watchando: We Shit You Not

Oddly-headed blogger and Celebrity Fit Club contestant Perez Hilton pooped his pants while on the treadmill. Wait… “Celebrity?” Bullshit. [Gawker]
Speaking of which, the judge in a celebrity photo agency’s case against Perez for copyright infringement thinks his countersuit is full of caca. [E! Online]
A Tampa woman died in a lawn chair outside her shit-filled house. And people continue to ask us why we left Florida. [Yahoo! News]
Feds are encouraging people to mix their unused prescription drugs with ferret feces to dissuade people from having any fun at all. Ay, ese, you obviously don’t know us very well. We live for shit like this. [NY Post]
Inmates in several Texas juvenile detention centers are disciplined for speaking Spanish and being forced to defecate in things other than a toilet. Some German fetishists pay pretty good money for crap like that. Not that we’d know. [Slate]