Introducing Guanabee's Most Embarrassing Latino Invitational. The contest that pits the cheesy, the unethical, the irrelevant, the loud-mouthed, the talentless and attention-whoring against one another in a tournament-style face off like no other. And each week, your votes will help eliminate contestants until the single most embarrassing Latino is left standing. Read more.

Worst Attention Whore: Quinceañeras Vs. Noelia

Quinceañeras
Quinceañeras!

Noelia
Noelia!

Eligibility: Little Latina girls turning 15 all over America. Claim To Fame: Becoming women no matter how painful it is—to watch. Why They Are Embarrassing: Whether they’re emerging from giant, papier-mâché swans and dirty dancing with their escorts in front of their grandmothers or conducting mall photo shoots at Glamour Shots in dresses that make them look like those dolls cholas put on their back dashboard, quinceañeras are an embarrassing wet dream, and any way you slice it, those little girls never come off looking pretty.		Eligibility: Puerto Rican from San Juan Claim To Fame: : Noelia’s a “singer,” but around here, we bow to her chocha which single-chochadly put Guanabee on the map. Why She Is Embarrassing: A sex video of Noelia and a well-proportioned male member engaging in the pleasures of backroom love made it onto the internet this summer making her one of the most Googled women in the world. Which is not really embarrassing so much as it is a sad commentary on the world we Google in.

Quinceañeras automatically lose worst whore poll because it’s underage… wait, what…? Oh, attention whore. Yeah, Noelia wins that, too.

And “single-chochadly” might be the best phrase in Spanglish history, narrowly beating out… oh I don’t know… that one your dumb cousin uses all the time when he orders Fatburger.

Posted by Churrasco | November 05, 2007

I think taking it up the butt on camera is slightly more whorish than emerging from a papier mache swan. But only slightly

Posted by ella | November 05, 2007

I lived in Mexico and celebrated many a friends Quince Anos. so I dont think its anything whory. Some respect for other countries customs!
And Noelia?? I’ld love to do her
Pedro

Posted by Pedro | November 05, 2007

@ Pedro: Quince ANOS!? Your friends must live near a nuclear waste dump or something. I don’t know that deformities of that magnitude should be something to celebrate. The bills on Charmin alone must be astronomical.

Posted by diabolik | November 05, 2007

Noelia took a big schlong up her bumhole and didn’t even flinch…for that she should win. But then again there are all those knocked up quinceañeras to consider. Hmmm….nah, Noelia gets it for taking it up the dookie shoot like a hotdog down a hallway!!!!

Posted by joe | November 06, 2007

My vote goes to the quinceañeras … because Noelia will disappear soon enough, but we’re always going to have to contend with those damn quinceañeras!

Posted by Yasuri Yamileth | November 09, 2007