Worst Identity Crisis: Jessica Alba Vs. Carlos Mencia
12 November 2007, 2:00 PM. By Cindy Casares
. 9 Comments
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Jessica Alba
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Carlos Mencia
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- Eligibility: Daughter of a Mexican-American Dad and Dutch/French-American Mom from California.
- Claim To Fame: America fell in love with Jessica as Max Guevara on Fox’s “Dark Angel,” but despite the success she experienced with that dark character, she tends to warm more to her white side.
- Why She Is Embarrassing: Jessica’s famous for says things like, “I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don’t speak Spanish. So, to say that I’m a Latin actress, OK, but it’s not fitting; it would be insincere. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn’t want his kids to be different.“ On top of all this, she thinks she’s funny. Talk about an identity crisis.
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- Eligibility: Mexican-Honduran from East L.A.
- Claim To Fame: Purportedly comedy, although we’ve personally never laughed.
- Why He’s Embarrassing: It’s Carlos’ special blend of easy, racist humor & terrible delivery that makes him a real stand out. Perhaps the fact that most of his jokes are stolen from other people accounts for the fact that he can’t deliver them worth a shit. And we suppose growing up with a name like Ned Holness (his real name) in East L.A. must have gotten him more than his fair share of ass kickings. No wonder he hates Latinos. And Blacks. And poor people. And anyone that will make the moral majority laugh. Not to mention, he grew up #17 of 18 children. Talk about being starved for attention! But as long as he can’t write a joke to save his life, we’ll be hanging our heads in shame.
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(9) 
Under ‘why she is embarrassing” “you” call her Jennifer instead of Jessica. Who is Jennifer and why are you thinking about her?
I don’t care what identity she is, I’ll teach Jessica Alba Spanish any day, starting with “Ay, Papi!” and “Mas! MAS!”
@illegal
You already do that, as a waiter at her favorite restaruant cochino!
Isn’t Ned half hondureno and half white? Im jus wondering where the Holness (lol!) came from.
A question: Ned Holness a.k.a. Carlos Mencia sometimes calls himself a “beaner” and makes fun of “beaners.” Am I to understand that term as slang for Mexican or is it slang for any Latin descent?
@ xica xicana: Yeah, I thought he was half white and half Hondureno as well. But I don’t recall where I heard that. Where did that Holness come from??
Is Wikipedia is to be right (as Supreme Overlord always is), his mom is Mexican and his father is Honduran. No idea where his father got the name, though.
He uses beaner because he was raised amongst Mexicans in housing projects in East LA. He must have heard it so much from his Mexican friends that he appropriated for himself, something that I noticed a lot with my Salvadoran and Guatemalan friends.
Lots of people in Latin America have European last names. E.g. our publisher, Mexican Daniel Mauser.
me as well (on the last name thing, not on the oh-stereotypes-are-SUCH-a-riot-and-a-cheap-shot thing. count the hyphens!)
costa rican (fo’ serious, i can’t even vote here, bitches) with some odd czech past.
turns out (shocker) there are some white latinos are out here.
hands down. jessica “don’t call me latina” alba takes the award.