Cross-Dressers Steal Christmas, Are Cuddly As A Cactus, Charming As An Eel

Two men dressed as women and a female accomplice attempted to steal a truckload of Christmas decorations in Mission, Texas. 18-year-old Sabrina Marie Ochoa, 17-year-old Andres Guaracha and 19-year-old Ismael Garcia were eventually captured by police, feeling good and looking fabulous:

In Guaracha’s mug shot, he wears a black strapless top, a blonde wig and makeup, including eyeliner, blush and lipstick. Garcia, also wearing makeup, is dressed less revealingly in a sweatshirt and sports a wig with jet-black locks flowing down to the middle of his back.

Clad in high heels, the two men sneaked across lawns, taking inflatable snow globes, lighted wire reindeer and Santa Claus statuettes, Garza said.

We hope they are candy-caned by a horde of angry, albeit adorable, Christmas elves, if only because the following is the saddest thing we’ve ever read:

“I haven’t seen any of them stealing around here,” Salinas said, with a deflated Santa and a collection of Christmas lights hanging from his house.

We wouldn’t touch them with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

Police: Cross-dressers steal Christmas [Valley Morning Star]