Jessica Alba Is Embarrassing, Still Richer Than You

10 December 2007, 3:45 PM. By Guanabee Staff

. 18 Comments

jessica_alba_12.10.07.jpg

Embarrassing Latina Jessica Alba looks different without make-up. Apparently, the internet gets its collective panties in a bunch every time -a movie star- some actress walks around with less than five layers of foundation spackled onto her face. So here’s Jessica Alba with a zit. Fascinating, no? But keep this in mind as you laugh at her melty-looking face: That zit? Is probably worth more than your apartment.

Mmm. That last Jäger shot tasted like tears.

Jessica Alba is a Natural Beauty [I Dont Like You In That Way]

18 Comments

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Comments(18) feed

  1. (+1)
    MissLatin wrote

    I don’t think it is.
    Also, I have a house.
    And, if somebody is willing to buy her zit for more than a quarter mill, well, A. I feel sorry for the chump, and B. What a great chance to cut a bitch. (Even if it’s just to remove the zit.)

  2. (+1)
    Bosrican wrote

    Snappity Snap, MissLatin! Can we hang out with you more often?

  3. (+1)
    MissLatin wrote

    P.S. She looks like she’s getting ready to go to a hoe down in some backwoods trailer with Larry the Cable Guy to expose her true roots of filth and nastiness.

    And the chick behind her is all “Ooooooh. Girlfriend did not just come in this bitch lookin like dat. Mmmmmmmhmmmmm.”

  4. (+1)
    MissLatin wrote

    @Bosrican: Only if we can agree that Alba is about as Latina as Doritos (Okay, except for salsa verde, everybody knows the SW can’t live without ‘em), and therefore, she doesn’t need to be…here?

  5. (+1)
    el Bulto wrote

    Quarter mil for a house? Sheeit, whaddya in subsidized housing in Texas?

  6. Latin_Princess
    (+1)
    Latin_Princess wrote

    @MissLatin: Amen! I wish someone would just push JA off a bridge already!

  7. (+1)
    latinogamer wrote

    quarter of a mil house? talk about “ghetto fab”, move to san francisco where my house is one mil easy…

  8. (+1)
    rebekah wrote

    “quarter of a mil house? talk about “ghetto fab”, move to san francisco where my house is one mil easy…”

    all this frontin’ just makes me sad…

  9. (+1)
    MissLatin wrote

    @Latin_Princess, rebekah.

    Since I’m 18, I’d have to say you’re doing pretty well with my house. And my daddy didn’t get it for me.

    Try supporting yourself, having a full time job, a nice car, and going to university full time and having the ghetto fab quarter mill house, sweethearts. It’s called Alaska, where a quarter mill gets you in nice bitches. So you tell me about your accomplishments when you we’re 18 and we’ll talk about ghetto fab.

    In case you don’t know, it’s called “going places.”

  10. (+1)
    rebekah wrote

    @MissLatin-

    My comment wasn’t directed towards you, I was referring to latinogamer…
    Read more carefully next time!
    I’m not EVEN going to talk about your comment, it made my head hurt… don’t understand what you mean, honey…

  11. (+1)
    Guana Bust A Nut wrote

    This whole hating Jessica Alba thing is pathetic. She doesn’t consider herself Latina, mainly because she wasn’t raised in the culture (have you seen her coconut father?); some have suggested that she may be ashamed of calling herself Latina because ethnic Latinos are seen as scum here in the states. Can you blame the poor girl?

    She clearly doesn’t consider herself a part of the Latino community, and yet, you all insist on talking about her. You’re embarrassed of her; she’s embarrassed of being associated with you. It’s one big mess. And it’s pathetic.

    Fortunately for Jessica, White people kiss her ass on a regular basis. Even the awesome Tina Fey said some positive things about Jessica. Tina also bashed Paris Hilton. It’s good to be Jessica Alba.

  12. (+1)
    latinogamer wrote

    @misslatin
    If by going places is making a livin in Alaska, enjoy it honey cause not a ton of people wish to be in your place.

    @rebekah
    Do I bring a tear to your eye….do I honey?

  13. Latin_Princess
    (+1)
    Latin_Princess wrote

    @ MissLatin: Your comment confused me. I was supporting your anti-Jessica stance and then you start bragging to me about a house and a car? WTF? And, by the way, when I was 18 I knew the difference between “we’re” and “were” as you clearly do not.

  14. (+1)
    MissLatin wrote

    @Latinoflamer
    Some people choose to be gutted for their money only to have the experience of the culture, some people choose to live happily with family, in a place where their house is the same house that would be the million dollar house that you live in, in San Fran.
    @rebekah
    I realized this as soon as I posted, however I couldn’t post again because it was too soon to the last comment.
    @Latin_Princess
    Thanks? Good thing I like to knit pick too.
    @Guana
    Nobody wants her here, exactly like I said, let’s get her off of here. We just happen to disagree on why she shouldn’t be here.

    Moving on.

  15. (+1)
    pocachica wrote

    I never watched Dark Angel but know her character’s name is Max Guevera-is the character supposed to be of latino descent or is the last name a coincidence? I am curious because if it is she got her start playing a role created for a Latino. I think it’s important to remember that whether or not you identify with a certain ethnicity it doesn’t change the way others see you and treat you, as far as how you are judged because of the way you look or your last name.

  16. Latin_Princess
    (+1)
    Latin_Princess wrote

    @MissLatin: I think the word you want is “nitpick.” And that habit is useful in college.

  17. (+1)
    Guana Bust A Nut wrote

    @pocachica: Jessica has played Latina and Ethnic characters throughout her career. She has never denied being biracial. She played a Mexican American in Into the Blue, and as an adolescent, she played various Latina chacters. She knows that she looks like a stereotypical Latina (in this country). And she never denied that. She simply admitted that she wasn’t raised in the culture. Her own (Mexican American) father never exposed her to the culture in a meaningful way. Yes, she made some foolish comments, but why vilify her so much?

  18. (+1)
    nightkitchen wrote

    were told we watched from were having I went up to were told A huge to my parents visit I grew front yard friends

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