Jessica Alba Is The Winningest Loser Of Them All, Takes Home Prize As Our First “Most Embarrassing Latina”
10 December 2007, 12:35 PM. By Guanabee Staff
5 rounds. 14 competitions. Players from such wide-ranging categories as politics, sports, media, music, entertainment. Thousands of your votes. All culminating in one Most Embarrassing Latino for 2007
And the award goes to… Jessica Alba!
Alba’s meteoric rise to the middle has seen her beat out such embarrassing beaners as Carlos Mencia and Perez Hilton. What is it about this beloved star of stage, screen and men’s magazines that allowed her to surpass some of the most cringe-inducing names in the business? Here are some of your reasons:
Dirty politicians will come and go, but Jessica Alba is forever pendeja!
- Gustavo Arellano
Jessica has it in the bag!
Any one who denies who they are is a disgrace!
- la roncha
OMG! Guanabee. Guanabee. GUANABEE! I am physically UNABLE to look at Jessica Alba. WTH? She makes me vomit. Please take her off.
I must go projectile vomit now.
kgracias.
- MissLatin
That, and she’s starred in a movie opposite Dane Cooke.
Well, there you have it, folks. You, the people, have made your voices heard and deemed Jessica Alba worthy of the illustrious title of 2007’s “Most Embarrassing Latina,” over her truly cringe-worthy competitors.
Congratulations, Jess!
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It’s not easy being green. or brown. or whatever she is.
One small step for man/woman, a giant step for humanity. Thank you Guanabee.
Finally, an award Jessica Alba truly deserved to win.
Still can’t believe that there was a contest for this. The crown just should’ve been given to her.
But…where’s the poll of Guanabee staffers? Who’d YOU guys think was really gonna win?
Ugh. I can’t believe she won just for not embracing a culture that didn’t embrace her.
Although I suppose to look on the bright side, if she’s the most embarrassing Latina, then we can’t be doing that bad, huh?
Jessica Alba was born to win this award. She appears embarrassed by her Latina identity so a role she could really wrap her head around was that of an embarrassing Latina–it is method acting at its best!
Even more embarrasing is Mexican TV and their idiotic novelas: why on Earth is everyone, white, blonde and blue eyed, in a land that has a large mestizo community? Where are the dark ones? Playing the maid! Do you know how many of these actors, especially foreigners like Christian Bach, Sebastian Rulli, Juan Soler (all Argentine by the way), Cesar Evora (White Cuban) are treated like gods simply because of their appearance? The above Argentine actors are nobodys in their country, so they ended up in Mexico where they made it because their white!! Do I smell self-hatred and hypocrisy? Hm….
Permita apenas que ella ser quién ella quiere ser. ella es en parte latina pero tiene también otra sangre. Permita apenas a la chica, no tienes otras planes con tu vida q hablar sobre otra gente
For reals, whats up with these mexican novelas??They got mexicans with blond hair and the maids are always looking so nice. We all know we don’t look that nice when cleaing houses. And if they want mexican novelas, why do they make them answer the phone with ALO like some retarded mexicans. I mean even the grandmas on there do that. WTH. And why do they always have like JUICYor FLIRT written across their shirts? I mean this is a mexican novela!! Or why do they always say ok or chao,I mean i say adios!!
You guys make me laugh. If she said hello to any one of you, your condom would overflow.
And so what if she feels American? She was born here, not Mexico. Her success is due in no small measure to her accepting American culture as her own instead of some other culture she only heard about. You’re in America, be American, get over being Latino - isn’t there enough poor hispanics in this country without you making people think they can be successful in this country by only speaking Spanish?
You think feeling Hispanic is important then by all means go at it, but don’t criticize people because they identify with being American. If you think it’s shamelful that someone thinks of themselves as American, then kindly leave - no one will miss you.
What I think is more embarrising with the novelas are the bad dubbing they have in Eastern Europe. The just lover the sound and have one voice for all men and one voice for all women. And a piping female voice for all children. And they dont eaven care to lip sync.