OMFG! Most Embarrassing Latina Spawning!!!
12 December 2007, 10:45 AM. By Carlos Posas
People Magazine is “exclusively” reporting that Jessica “Most Embarrassing Latina Winner” Alba’s ova embraced boyfriend Cash Warren’s spermatozoa for an upcoming offspring production. Alba’s representative said: “I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer.” We guess she’ll have to postpone upcoming movie roles, as she’s no doubt gonna get chonkaliciously huge. People writes:
Before the pregnancy announcement, she said she was in talks to make her Broadway premiere this summer in a revival of playwright David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow.
She’s speedily plowing, alright. Since Alba seems to incite so much goodness in our readers, what do you think the baby will be named?
Conchita Warren? Joselito Alba? Guys?
Jessica Alba Is Pregnant [People Magazine]
Image: [Jean Catuffe / INF]
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She must be stopped.
Just drop the Alba and put Warren, get the whiteafaction over with already…
See? this is perfect. It’s where the words EMBARASSING and EMBARAZADA come together in perfect harmony.
Cheers,
Wow. Break up sex really is a horrible idea. They were in “break up limbo” around July and August. And the baby is due in late spring to early summer. Hmmm….
Yeah!!! She’s just as embarrassing as Mexican TV and their telenovelas: The Whitification of Aztec Land. It’s not even Spanish or Italian-looking people on Mexican television anymore (Antonio Banderas, Penelope Cruz, Sophia Loren need no apply), BUT the nordic-looking viking types!! Help! Foreigners like Christian Bach, Sebastian Rulli, Michelle Vieith, Juan Soler, Ludwika Paleta (Polish, how white you get?) are all treated like gods!! I smell self-hatred! Gee, I thought only Europeans are racist….Hmm….the pot has called the kettle black…
Now her much-denied Hispanic genes will have their vengeance!
you know those mexican women…they just “pop them out.”
The next time we see Jessica Alba she’ll be at the La Mirada Swap Meet buying 2 for $10 girdles to hold all that “junk” in
Oh, Guanabee, your readers aren’t helping the Brown cause. I spent an hour trying to convince my coworkers that non-White Hispanics have the potential of being just as successful as Whites and Asians. But, now, I give up. Here’s the problem:
Someone used the phrase “Hispanic genes.” Wow, that’s just wrong! When someone uses the term Hispanic, they’re referring to the culture, which is something learned (it’s not genetic). What’s next? Are you going to tell me that you believe in “intelligent” design? Again, you’re not helping the cause.
Also, Jessica never denied her Native Mexican (racial) ancestry. She essentially just said that she wasn’t raised in the culture and doesn’t consider herself Latina. She knows where her genes came from.
You guys really shouldn’t judge people you don’t even know. Maybe she’s more Latina than you think and she actually made up the pregnancy to get her on-again-off-again boyfriend to marry her. She’ll probably “miscarry” right after the city hall ceremony. (Is that wrong? Should I not have typed that?)