Puerto Rican Monkeys Will Lose Their Balls In Central Florida
12 December 2007, 2:30 PM. By Guanabee Staff
In an effort to combat their wild monkey problem, Puerto Rico has decided to ship about 30 monkeys to a facility in Central Florida, where no one lives anyway. Kidding, Florida. We totally tolerate you:
About 30 patas monkeys have been shipped to the Florida International Teaching Zoo in Sumter County as part of a larger strategy to capture, neuter, track and export packs of monkeys that have invaded the island from a defunct research facility.
The Puerto Rican government doesn’t so much care where they go, as long as they’re off the island. Monkeys, like children, are a terrible nuisance that cry when not fed and are just generally rude in other ways as well:
Government officials have come up with a $1.8 million plan that includes neutering some monkeys and releasing them back into the wild. Others will be fitted with radio transmitters to facilitate the capture of more members of their pack. And more monkeys will be relocated to zoos around the world.
Some fear the government’s plan will take decades to get rid of the monkeys. In the meantime, they are running amok in Puerto Rico.
‘A pest, a terrible plague’
Think outside the box there, PR. Add a little mojito sauce and you’ve got yourself a festive Noche Buena dinner that will make your guests go positively ape wild.
Sick of monkeys running amok, Puerto Rico sends some to Florida [The Orlando Sentinel]
(7) 
Post Your Comment
Did you know you can now share a link, image or video?
Click to submit your own notas.
Ummm… It’s December 12th & you’re giving us Puerto Rican Monkeys?
Did you forget who’s saint’s day it is today? Or that some of us woke up hella early to sing to her & drink chocolate? (OK… we were thinking about it after we recovered from our hang-over but that’s neither here nor there!)
Dude… come on you Guanabees!
This is interesting, because the story seems to imply that you can’t throw an used condom out the window without hitting a primate in the head. Having spent the better half of my life in PR, I can tell you that the only monkey I ever saw was Yuyo, a chimp that escaped his captors in the early 80s and became a superstar. Kinda like Elián, but different. Speaking of Cuba, isn’t this what Fidel did with the Mariel boatlift? Ship all the monkeys to Florida? Did I just type that? I’m kidding, Cuba!
I have to agree with Bos-simian..Monkeys what the ef? I never saw any freakin monkeys when I was kid in PR. Although the Hawaiians are still pissed that the Coqui took out a time share on their island stayed and multiplied..you know how we do.
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e3/dimegirl/guadalupe.jpg
The monkey situation is going on more out in “la isla”, in other words, in outlying towns and not in the metro area. And it’s not everywhere, either. But there are some areas where there are monkeys running loose. (Namely, Lajas, as noted in the article).
Part of the situation, too, is encroachment. As the population grows and more and more areas are being built upon with new housing, you start to see human and monkey worlds collide. They should make a sci-fi movie out of the monos salvajes.
Send those bastards to Panama. They love them over there.
Roasted!!!!