The Spanish are always ready to let you know what a failure you are as a rotten apple fallen too far from the mother tree, have sex with farm animals (If you happen to be our cousins in Galicia, that is. And, given the prolific virility of our extended family, there’s a good chance you probably are.), and throw money at hands-on daddy Woody Allen, who also happens to have a statue in Oviedo. Viva España:

Allen turned to European investors after his relationship with the Hollywood studios soured, telling an interviewer, “In Europe, they let me do what I like.”

But, after heading to Spain to make “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” he discovered that not all Spaniards are in love with him. Some Catalans griped about the $1.4 million of government money that went into the film, which stars Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem and Scarlett Johansson.

“There were people in Barcelona who took issue,” Allen told us Tuesday at the Cinema Society screening of his new drama, “Cassandra’s Dream.” But “I don’t really know what the issues were. That’s always very removed from me.” Most of the Catalans, he found, “were wonderful!”

Wonderful, eh? They probably never gotten around to watching Curse of the Jade Scorpion or Anything Else.

A pain in Spain for Woody Allen [Rush & Molloy]