Final Round. Who Is The Most Embarrassing Latino: Squirmiest Politician: Alberto Gonzales Vs. Identity Crisis: Jessica Alba
Alberto Gonzales
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Jessica Alba
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- Eligibility: Tejano from outside Houston
- Claim To Fame: Officially, he’s the former U.S. Attorney General, but most people know him as the Uncle Tómas of the White House.
- Why He’s Embarrassing: Gonzales systematically fired a staff of U.S. Dept. of Justice attorneys in 2005 and 2006 without explanation only to tell Senate hearing committees later that he had no recollection of the events. He was also seriously implicated in the NSA Domestic Eavesdropping Program and became so universally reviled in Washington, that a number of members of both houses of Congress from both parties publicly said Gonzales should resign or be fired by Bush. This he impudently refused during months of Senate hearings until, finally, in August of this year, he put us all out of our misery. Only to play the race card and imply that his humble background should excuse him from any mistakes he might have made.
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- Eligibility: Daughter of a Mexican-American Dad and Dutch/French-American Mom from California.
- Claim To Fame: America fell in love with Jessica as Max Guevara on Fox’s “Dark Angel,” but despite the success she experienced with that dark character, she tends to warm more to her white side.
- Why She Is Embarrassing: Jessica’s famous for says things like, “I had a very American upbringing, I feel American, and I don’t speak Spanish. So, to say that I’m a Latin actress, OK, but it’s not fitting; it would be insincere. My grandfather was the only one in our family to go to college. He made a choice not to speak Spanish in the house. He didn’t want his kids to be different.“ On top of all this, she thinks she’s funny. Talk about an identity crisis.
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Its showtime!!!! Jessica Alba that is.
Posted by carnitas | December 03, 2007
Dirty politicians will come and go, but Jessica Alba is forever pendeja!
Posted by Gustavo Arellano | December 03, 2007
I will do my latin civic duty and impregnat Jessica Alba, or continually try to…
Posted by latinogamer | December 03, 2007
This may be the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. And that is the saddest thing I’ve ever said, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
Posted by ella | December 03, 2007
Beto! Beto! Beto!
Posted by pocho_guey_al_norte | December 03, 2007
the herpes tree! someone link him to the derek jeter herpes tree so the circle will be complete!
Posted by comanechi | December 03, 2007
Ok here’s my take on this and I actually did think about this (for a minute) … Ok Alberto is a disgrace and at a glance the easy pick but if you think about it the dood had his hands tied, the man wasn’t pulling the strings and so the douchbaggery goes above him. Alba on the other hand is just … a dumbass. Hot though.
Posted by V | December 04, 2007
@V: Um…and being ignorant or having questionable opinons about your own identity is somehow worse than screwing with people’s lives in the service of abusing power for spurios purposes? A re-evaluation’s in order.
As to the argument that Beto had his hands tied: QUE!?! Oh, I’m sorry, he was just doing his job as a toady. Totally embarrassing.
Calling Adolf Eichmann… Someone might be willing to bail you out of the sulfur mines, Mr. E, and send you back to Buenos Aires.
Posted by pocho_guey_al_norte | December 04, 2007
jessica has it in the bag!
Any one who denies who they are is a disgrace!
Posted by la roncha | December 04, 2007
Gonzales played the race card implying that the reason he is a moron is because of his background. How is that not more embarrassing than Alba’s alleged reason for embarrassment, not identifying as a Latina because she was not raised in the culture nor was she ever accepted as one?
Cameron Diaz is more embarrassing than Alba by your standards.
Posted by brechtgirl | December 04, 2007
My vote is for PEREZ HILTON. Do I even need to explain why?
Posted by jonnytorres | December 04, 2007
I’m Mexican,
Come on compadres… lighten up.
Stop thinking “latino” is a race, it’s a culture (with all the races in it, mind you) not a race, we have Blacks (J. Laboriel? Samorita?), Asians (all those Wong?) Europeans (Fox?), Arabs (Carlos Slim?) etc.
If Jessica doesn’t have that culture then, she simply doesnt. PUNTO it doesn’t matter who her father was or if her grandfather made a choice (he was supposed not to make any choices as a free individual?)
What I really hate of the “Latino-chicano-hispanic-raza-_insert your racial/cultural pseudo here_” is the retarded and double-standard mentality that because some one has some “raza blood” in their veins they should really claim to be “raza” for the rest of their lives.
We don’t ask of our black people in latin-america Brazil, Colombia, Cuba - you name it - to proclaim themselves “AFRICAN FOREVER” do we? and if they did we would look down on them…
I have Mexican-born friends whose parents came from Sweden and they do not go around saying “I’m European bro… I’m not Mexican…I’m Nordic look at me” because they know if they did Mexicans would say “what a pendejo” and look down on them,
Let’s see it the other way around… if a Mexican is born and raised in another culture and he claims he’s not Mexican we say “what a pendejo” .
Nice huh?
People are free to claim to be whatever the heck they want, if a German is born and raised in the US and he doesn’t connect to his ancestry and says “I’m an American” nobody in Germany will say “you’re German for life bro, if you think you aren’t you’re a Pendejo”
This pure chauvinistic cagada.
Posted by Ricardo Sanchez | December 05, 2007
Swedes, Germans, Italians, whatevers, are not treated like caca and criminals in the US just because of their ethnicity. Mexicans are.
Latinos are not at the point of mainstream acceptance where we can afford to have pieces of our culture rejected by people that the public assumes shares that culture. And whether she likes it or not, she is perceived Latina as much as she is perceived female. If she wasn’t such a tonta, she could’ve been a real American and used that to her financial advantage.
Posted by tartamuda | December 05, 2007
Why is there even an argument about this?
That girl (I refuse to say or even type her name) is a nasty, vile skank. She wins the most embarassing Latino. Ever. And for always.
Now make her go away. And let’s talk about something productive…like..Anything, really, other than awful, beastly, loathsome, vulgar, yucky, nauseating, unclean, unholy, revolting, repulsive, repugnant, gross, horrible, annoying, malignant, distasteful, offensive, rotten, sleazeballish dirty little ghastly horrendous whores.
Kgracias.
Posted by MissLatin | December 05, 2007
PS. Whoever photoshopped her tetas didn’t do her any favor.
Posted by MissLatin | December 05, 2007
Alba is easy to ignore if you don’t follow gossip and don’t watch her films, but Gonzales… ugh.
Posted by cindylu | December 05, 2007
My vote goes to Alba. Because she’s prettier and mas “estuuupid” tham I am. Oh and she thinks she’s all bad
Posted by extracheeseporfas | December 05, 2007
Ignorance or feigned ignorance…which wins?
Jessica has gone blonde like the greats before her…Shakira…and I think America likes to play up her latina-ness because of the obsession with “exotic”.
Sr. Gonzales? Dios mio…el es mas “whitino” del mundo. Aunque tienes nombre latino, no tiene alma latino.
Posted by eriqua | December 06, 2007
I’m a Mexicano… so I don’t vote.
Posted by Juanzo | December 06, 2007
all i have to say about it is he’s a full latino and she is half french and and i believe her stuck-up, snotty, rude french gene has caused her to say such things. his momma should have shown him better.
Posted by Nelson | December 07, 2007
Whatever, I don’t consider La Alba as latina, same as Cameron Diaz and Nicole Ritchie. They’re not. Now, el pendejo de Gonzales pisses the heck out of me. I just cringe in embarrassment every time I hear his name.
Posted by Brigit | December 08, 2007
Yeah, Jessica is an embarrassment at times, BUT even more embarrasing, hypocritical and self-hating is stupid Mexican novelas and TV. 90% of these actors are of European ancestry, leaning toward having very fair skin, blue eyes, and light brown to blond hair!! Where are the mestizo or native Mexican actors?? Playing the maids! I find it revolting when I see white blond, actors, be they Mexican (Laura Flores) or foreign ones (Argentine actors Christian Bach, Sebastian Rulli, Juan Soler; American actress Michelle Vieith; Cuban actor Cesar Evora; Polish actress Ludwika), etc. treated like gods simply because of their race!! I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be any people of European descent on the tube..but for heaven’s sakes… hire some dark people!!! :(
Posted by DC | December 12, 2007
what exactly makes someone a “full” latino? Latino is NOT a race..its cultural and for all the mexicans who are obviously of majority native indian RACIAL descent but claiming to be hispanic/latino..which isnt a race…get a mirror. Now i dont completely agree with Alba’s comments or attitude but before people pass all this judgement look at yourselves in the mirror first and recognize how much denial your in about what who you really are.
Posted by corey | May 12, 2008