You Got Some ‘Splaining To Do: Why Do Latinos Kiss Hello?
5 December 2007, 12:00 PM. By Alex Alvarez
It wasn’t until we left to the Northeast for college that we realized kissing hello can really weird some people out. Why do Latinos do this? Perhaps it’s because we are such a spicy people. Or maybe we come from a culture where people are, on the whole, more immediately intimate with one another. Or maybe we just like leaving our lipstick on your cheek, asshole. Whatever the case, we’ve grown up with everyone from young guys to old women laying one on us as a way of saying both hello and good-bye.
“Hi!” he says brightly, the space between you rapidly diminishing as he makes his way across the room. You fiddle with the pre-frayed ends of your vertically integrated, organic cotton tunic and smile nervously. “Hi,” you croak in response. His face is now inches from yours. You lean in, pucker your lips and…
“Uh. Hehe. Whoa. What?” He chuckles nervously and takes a step back.
Shit. Why this reaction? Had you forgotten to floss? Did you have pit stains? Did he notice your cold sore? You look down and see… his hand. Extended. Anticipating a handshake.
Curses! Foiled again by The Gringo Shake!
In our personal experiences with hello kisses and their resulting awkwardness, these greetings don’t involve actual lip-to-skin contact but, rather, are more of a cheek-to-cheek kind of deal. Which sometimes leaves us in awkward situations when we’re greeted by a Spaniard or someone of South American descent, who sometimes try to trip us up with a double, and sometimes triple, kiss.
So we’re wondering. Do you kiss hello? Do your non-Latino friends ever get freaked out when you lean in for a smooch? And how many times do you kiss: one cheek? Twice? Three times in rapid succession, like some sort of horrible Eurotrash douchenozzle? Also, do you ever throw a little ear nibble in for good measure? Not that we do that. Ever. Maybe.
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In Mexico it is customary to give a kiss hello to the member of the opposite sex; even if you have just met for the first time.
I did not weird anyone out at the Vietmaneese wedding I went to last week. Crying me a river gringos
Don’t nibble the ear; play with the lobe!
In Argentina the men kiss you on the cheek hello; weird.
kiss, kiss, kiss. I’m guilty as charged. My more americanized friends prefer hugs.
i’m a kisser, not a hugger.
(sometimes i like to double the fun and go for both cheeks. this has the added bonus of making people think i’m all sophisticated. suckas.)
just one kiss for me …I usually only do it to family and close friends…
And this freaks white people out to no end. It’s hysterical to watch them panic when you hug/kiss them hello or goodbye even though you’ve known them for a while. My latino friends…pfft…they break out the hugs, the kisses and the tamales.
–LC
my family and people in mexico that i’m meeting for the first time get one cheek-to-cheek kiss….my friends get hugs :-)
In Brazil, I kiss everybody hello and goodbye, twice. [I am a girl. Two girls will kiss there, or a girl and a guy, but never two guys.] Here in the US my friends are more the handshaking type. The transition from one mode to another can be a little awkward.
I ran into an odd situation with an Italian (chick) friend the other night: she leaned in for a kiss as we were saying goodbye, so I recovered from my surprise and then switched cheeks, which in turn freaked her out. Twice as awkward!
I am one affectionate Latina. Bring on the smooches, hugs, snuggle bunnies, whatever.
Unless it’s the one relative who gets off on that… you stay away.
I became accustomed to kissing hello when I lived in Chile. When I moved back to the State, it was a difficult adjustment — everyone felt so distant and cold!
(I also got used to being stared at and getting piropos. When I crossed the border back into Texas, where men stare more discreetly, I thought, “Did I get ugly all of a sudden?”)
I heart hello kisses. Right cheek to right cheek. Best Latin custom ever. Along with being late and lazy.
When I was in France they wanted both cheeks. That is too much effort.
Oh God! EVEN more embarrassing when you don’t kiss and go for the gringo handshake and they reach in to kiss you. I kiss everyone on the cheek all the time. It doesn’t matter where I am, or who it is, I’m Latina and that’s how we do it.
In Miami I think everyone is used to the kiss (male to female) if any of the two parties is Latin but you don’t tend to see it among two Anglos
I am a one cheek kisser. It’s considered rude not to in our family. If someone gets snubbed from the saludos it’s usually my uncle’s bitch wives, they are not tias but girlfriends that dug their claws in and never let go. they get kisses on holidays.
i always do one kiss cheek-to-cheek with my friends and familia. i really don’t understand what we’re supposed to do with the gringos and other non-latinos. when you do know a gringo and it’s not a stranger, it seems even more awkward to me to be shaking their hand! thats so formal and distant! and sometimes hugging seems like too much… i would reserve hugging for good friends… all that body contact can be awkward too. the kiss is just right! they need to start cheek-kissing here!
i’m fortunate that i live in hawaii and everybody here greets each other with kisses. yep, even the gringos.
-r-
I’m with the gringos on this one, raza. I can’t for the life of me understand why I have to kiss a, or be kissed by, a perfect stranger the very first time I lay eyes on them.
What’s wrong with handshakes? (she says, breaking out the Purell)
Pensándolo bien, I’m with the Japanese. Just bowing, no touching. Way better.
My best friend moved from Miami to Connecticut in the 6th grade, kissed everyone hello upon arrival, and immediately became exceedingly popular amongst the middle school boys. The girls, not so much…
But in Miami, the Anglos also aren’t weirded out by the kiss thing. Some even partake.
When in Peru I kiss everybody… when in the US I switch gears and don’t kiss.. its weird but I’ve had very awkward situations with gringos and “americanized” Latinos… Also I’ve gotten unwanted attention from the wrong guys…
In Peru everyone kisses (girls to girls, girls to guys, never guy to guys) when they are introduced, when saying hi, when saying bye.
I say hello to girls who I’ve never met and really good guy friends with cheek-to-cheek kisses. mouth to mouth with really good friends who are also girls. It’s not the customary thing to do but I was just raised that way, I still say hello to my dad with a mouth-to-mouth kiss and some of my aunts. For some reason we’re just really caring people, and that’s the way we do it.
I think in Miami, even the gringos kiss. It’s that Latin influence.
Also I agree with that poster who said that sometimes a handshake is too formal and a hug too intimate. A cheek kiss is just right. It’s actually one of my favorite Latino customs and one that is thankfully being adopted in more cosmopolitan cities.
I recently moved from the Northeast USA to Miami, and as an “Anglo”, I find the hello/goodbye kisses to be… interesting. I’ve been here for a month, and I’m still (quite) a bit baffled with I guess the formalities &c. involved with it. With my Latina friends and some acquaintances at least, it’s the kiss. None of them really have expected me to kiss back (I think), but as I get to know them better and get more used to the Latin cultures. It’s fun to be around these people, though I now wonder about “the kiss” with American friends in Miami. I have quite a few–I’d say about 2/3 of my friends and acquaintances are Latin, and the other 1/3 are Americans of different ethnicity.