If you’ve had your fill of celebrity asses and faces for one day, perhaps we can interest you in Celebrity Horoscopes! Like Benicio del Toro’s, for instance! Why are you running away?:

He’s been called a Latin Marlon Brando. Others compare him to James Dean channeling Ricardo Montalban. With his striking good looks and what used to be called bedroom eyes, when Benicio Del Toro’s on screen, you can be sure that your eyes will be focused on him. Actually, transfixed is more like it.

He’s like a really good White actor, except Brown! Color us transfixed!

Born on February 19, 1967 in San German, Puerto Rico, Benicio’s Sun is in the compassionate, mutable water sign of Pisces.* Noted for their sensitivity and imagination, Pisceans are the idealists of the zodiac. They are true visionaries, forever seeing the world as it could be, but not necessarily as it is. Life for a Pisces is often bittersweet because they are capable of dreaming the most beautiful dreams and experiencing profound disappointment when reality doesn’t measure up to their imaginings.

We bet we know what does measure up. HEY-O!

With Saturn, the planet of rules and restrictions, conjunct Venus, however, Del Toro probably experiences an emptiness that is hard to fill. Moreover, restless Uranus opposes his Venus and Saturn, lending an air of detachment and instability. In his case, it is also likely that the Moon, planet of feelings in airy, dispassionate Gemini challenges the combination, making the emotional void even more profound.

We don’t know what any of this means, but it sounds positively nasty. God, we’re so turned on. He sounds so sexy and mysterious and simply replete with voids! But, wait. What’s this?:

Notes

*If Del Toro was born before 4:24 am, his Sun is in Aquarius, not Pisces.

Oh.

Benicio del Toro: No Bull [Stariq]