Vogue writer Lauren Davis got married to billionaire Andres Santo Domingo a few weeks ago. We know, we know. Most exciting news of the year; we’ve totally come a bowlful of Jordan almonds just typing about it. Anyway, the wedding was held on the Colombian island of Baru. Where it is, apparently, hotter than Cheeto dust trapped in one of Britney Spears’ neck folds:

But some guests - including most of the Vogue masthead, besides Anna Wintour and Andre Leon Talley (neither of whom attended) - were put out by lack of air conditioning. Social types, including Tinsley Mortimer, Annelise Petersen and Karolina Kurkova, sweltered in the church for hours as their makeup melted. And rude guests screwed up the rehearsal dinner the night before, switching place cards for better tables.

Horrible, rude, makeup-less, fabulous people. Fabulous, fierce Colombiatches. By the way, you’re all totally invited to our wedding next Spring. It’ll be held at the House ‘O Marriage, just off the turnpike. There’ll be cocktail weenies a boxes and boxes of champagne!

SWEATY WEDDING [New York Post]