No, no, no, no! Word around the internet is that supermodel cum journalist Naomi Campbell and Venezuelan megalomaniacal dictator cum chatshow crooner Hugo Chavez could be playing hide the Venezuelan salami. After saying, “NO FUCKING WAY!” like six times to a would-be tipster, we finally had to move out of the denial stage and into the slack-jawed horror stage as we read the following on Croatian gossip site Javno:

According to the newspaper El Universal, Naomi and Hugo have been together for two months, but have been carefully hiding their relationship.

Allegedly, the chemistry began with Naomi’s visit to Venezuela, when the model came to give her support to Chavez, together with some other Hollywood stars.

She was delighted with his proposal to build 6 new hospitals by 2009 in Venezuela, and praised his efforts in the segments of healthcare and education.

This makes total sense. He’s an iron-fisted control freak who shuts down dissenters without a second thought. She’s a cell-phone fisted control freak who shuts down dissenters with said cell phone across the head. She’s a fashion icon. He loves red shirts. They both make us want to die a little inside. Could be a love match.

Naomi Campbell Together With Hugo Chavez? [Javno]