They say that every little girl is a princess, but whenever we wear our tiara to our corner bodega to buy Diet Coke, gummy worms and Vagisil, people stare. And sometimes call the police, unaware that princesses are allowed to wear nothing but a bow tie (and the aforementioned tiara, natch) and refer to people as “babydoll” while drinking moonshine from a shoe if they feel like it. Luckily, commenter Latin_Princess is allowed to get away with pretty much anything. ‘Cause she so fine. And funny. And lacking in restraining orders from corner bodegas.

Re: Lamest Comic Book Ever Teaches Latinos That Diabetes Isn’t So Sweet

Wait. What? They named that thing Sweet Temptations? Lame.

They should have named it “La Virgen Hates Diabetes.” Now that would have caught my attention.

Re: “Live Earth Latino” Proves To Be Magically Unreal

“Lovely Latina, with one eye closed you look like the lady that is and was Salma Hayek.”

Re: Vagina De Guadalupe: Ruega Por Nosotros…Please!

If my chocha started to “glow and throb” I would start praying. And ask my abuelita to rub the egg on me.

Of course, there’s always my handy Lady of Guadalupe Spray that I got at HEB.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu8ofvdOVKs

Re: Casa D’Ice Restaurant Opened Up Our Eyes. We Saw The Sign. Also, It Gave Us, Like, Terrible Gas.

Oh, Bill Balsamico, you silly man. If you are a Christian, I hope you will kindly remember that Jesus didn’t speak English either. And if you happen to reach the pearly gates, I hope you see a sign similar to your distasteful rhetoric. But on the bright side, I’m sure Hitler will scoot over to make room for you in his bunker.

So, girl, in the words of one Ms. La La, allow us to say:

Girl, I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t around
When them things wit my man had to go down
When I needed just to talk, you would listen
Wipe my tears and then tell me I was trippin’
Homegirl for you I would do anything I can (You know I would)
When you had your baby I was there to hold your hand (Did all i could)
Whether I’m wrong or right they stick by my side
My homegurlz for life

You can ride with our crew any day, Latin_Princess.