President Hugo Chavez would rather you not classify those fun-loving ragamuffins in Farc as terrorists. After all, what’s a little kidnapping, rape and torture now and again? They’re more like a frat, really:

“The Farc and the ELN are not terrorist groups, they are armies - real armies that occupy a space in Colombia. It is necessary to offer them recognition. They are insurgent forces that have a political agenda that is respected here [in Venezuela].”

Chavez asked governments from Europe and elsewhere to remove these group from their list of terrorist groups because this classification was solely the result of pressure from the United States.

“They have me on a list, too,” he said.

Oh babycakes. There’s only one list we’ve got you on.

CHÁVEZ PIDE A GOBIERNOS EXCLUIR A LAS FARC Y AL ELN DEL LISTADO DE GRUPOS TERRORISTAS [El Universal]