In an article that has since been pulled from its website, El Universal claims that Hugo Chavez will be off the market very soon (sorry ladies!), as he might be planning to propose to Naomi Campbell at some point in between their hot BDSM sex sessions. Reports Nelson Bocaranda, the journalist who first broke the story that the two lovebirds were doing the nasty, even while Naomi was making us vomit into our own mouths and those of others with details of the relationship absolutely no one had asked for:

“Meetings between them [Hugo and Naomi] served as a platform for their love. It should not come as a surprise when, days after the french president Nicolas Sarkozy marries model Carla Bruni, the Venezuelan leader proposes to the slim Chinese Afrocaribbean.”

She’s a veritable smorgasbord of nationalities, that Naomi.

Sigh. We wonder what the wedding will be like… Will Sean Penn be invited? Will Fidel wear a track suit to the ceremony? And do you think Naomi will wear a designer wedding gown? Or would that he playing into the hands of imperialist, capitalist pigs? So romantic.

El Universal