Jessica Alba is starting to grow on us, not unlike a fungal infection you don’t discover until it’s far too late. Despite appearing nearly naked or playing the ditzy girlfriend in each and every movie she’s ever done (except, maybe The Eye, but no one is paying to see that shit anyway), Jess insists her natural talent and ability is what has people clamoring to fill theater seats:

Alba names herself alongside Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez as the only non-white actresses who can open a movie.

When the journalist was quick to add Eva Mendes alongside the group, Alba fired back: “But is Mendes greenlighting movies?”

Buuuuurn!

Referring to her Into The Blue co-star Paul Walker - a diving movie in which Alba spent most of her on-screen time in a bikini - she complained: “Paul was the lead, Paul helped develop it. You wouldn’t believe how much that kid got paid! And I don’t think he did one ounce of publicity.”

Alba admitted she was unhappy with the outcome of her latest movie Good Luck Chuck, which was critically panned upon its release late last year.

She said: “It’s porn… It wasn’t supposed to be like that.”

Damn it! It was supposed to be Dane Cook’s turn at the Oscars.

“When I’m in a meeting, I want to tell you why I’m an asset, how I’m a commodity, how I can put a**** in the seats, not, ‘There’s a chance you’re going to be able to f*** me’. That’s never been my deal.”

And to think of all the money we’ve wasted on Sour Patch kids, sitting in a darkened theater, waiting for you to f*** us.

Alba describes herself as half-Latina, referring to her father Mark’s Mexican grandparents.

Despite recent reports Alba was ashamed of her Latin heritage, she insists she’s fiercely proud of her roots and wants to learn more about Mexican history.

She said: “I’m proud of my heritage. That’s all I know! I only know a Mexican-American upbringing. Nobody really knows what to do with me.

“I’m half Latin, but I grew up in the States, and I can’t get roles playing a Latina because I don’t speak Spanish.

“And I don’t want to be the best friend, or the promiscuous girl, or the maid, because those stereotypes still exist with Latin roles. I want to be a leading lady.”

So play the best friend, promiscuous girl and cowgirl stripper instead,

Referring to a family holiday to Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula, Alba admitted she clashed with her parents over how to spend their time, with her mother and father opting to relax in popular bar chain Senor Frogs.

She said: “When I go to Mexico, I want to go to see the pyramids, to learn about the history… My parents want to go to Senor Frogs every day.”

Bitch, please. We totally feel you. As a former resident of Miami, which is home to no less than two Señor Frog’s, we can tell you that shit is about as Mexican as a Dirty Sanchez. And you know what? You’re so crazy and bitchy and filterless that we’ve decided you’re ok by us. For now.

Jessica Alba wigs out: Mum-to-be blasts Hollywood stars [Daily Mail]