Leah Remini Wants To Be Godmother To Jennifer Lopez’s Kids, Kind Of Calls Her Fat

Actress Leah Remini and her husband, who happens to be Puerto Rican and lacking in eyebrows, attended the premiere of Eva Longoria’s new film, Why Is Paul Rudd In This Movie. Is He Broke?, and joked about wanting to be godparents to whatever Jennifer Lopez eventually gives birth to: girl, boy, twins, a piece of toast bearing the image of La Virgen, what have you:

“We’re asking for an audition for godparent roles,” Remini, 36, joked to PEOPLE at the premiere after-party for Eva Longoria’s new comedy Over Her Dead Body Tuesday night. “Um … so, we’re waiting to hear back.”

The actress says she and husband Angelo Pagan, “need like a day – because we’re not good at cold-reading – so that we can just prepare.”

Remini is a Scientologist, as Jennifer has been rumored to be in the past, so by “godparent” she probably means “OT Thetan Cleaner Parent X3000.2 Bloop Bloop.” She then kind of calls J-Lo fat by using frenemy jargon:

Asked how Lopez is doing now, Remini added, “Great! She’s great! I mean, look, she was on tour. She’s a strong girl.”

This is like calling a woman “healthy-looking.” It sounds like a compliment, but it really means “God, your legs are like a man’s.” Bloop bloop.

Leah Remini ‘Auditioning’ to Be a Godparent for J.Lo [People]