Matthew McConaughey Impregnates Brazilian Model, Celebrates With Naked Bongo Jamboree

Shirt-averse actor Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend, Brazilian model Camila Alves, are expecting their first child together. And, guess what! It’s, like, all up in her womb and stuff, man:

Got some blessed news… a celebration of life and bounty… a newborn conceived… yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together… its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far… we are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being a mother and a father, and sheparding [sic] him or her through this life…

We, too, are stoked at the totally stellar news that a woman and a man can create a lively womb-troll together.

In the immortal words of Wooderson:

“The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin’, man. L-I-V-I-N. ”

and

“Say, man, you got a joint? [...] It’d be a lot cooler if you did.”

-Dazed and Confused, 1993

Matthew McConaughey’s Journal [Matthew McConaughey]