Maria Isabela-Cruz of Dallas got busted with a large amount of metamphetamines with intent to sell last April, then made up a story about having breast cancer to get a shortened sentence. Now it turns out, she never had breast cancer at all. Everyone in Dallas is shocked that a criminal would lie. But our favorite part of the story is this:

She flimflammed this court,” [U.S. District Judge Terry] Means said at Cruz-Tamez’s sentencing Monday morning. ”

Seriously, if more people talked that way in the newspaper, we would actually read it sometime.

Woman who ‘flimflammed’ court gets prison time [Forth Worth Star-Telegram]