By now we’ve all heard about Priscilla Ceballos, the Dallas, Texas mom who told her daughter to write a contest entry falsifying that her dad was killed in Iraq so that she could win some Hannah Montana tickets. We’re fascinated by this kind of win-at-any-cost attitude, since we’re more nap-at-any-cost kind of people. We brought the Gay Shrink in to help us better understand what kind of person wields such a sense of entitlement.

Guanabee: So Doc, let’s cut right to the chase. What gives a grown woman the idea that it’s ok to make up a story like this to win a pair of tickets?

Gay Shrink: Priscilla acts in a manipulative and cunning manner to get what she wants. Perhaps she’s sociopathic. She certainly has a grandiose sense of self to believe that she and her daughter deserve those tickets. Though you have to give her credit for being smart enough to realize that no 6 year-old deserves to go to a $100 concert if her mom has to pay out of pocket—-Celine Dion tickets are cheaper than this Hannah Montana person and Celine conquered Vegas.

Guanabee: Yeah, and Celine Dion used to be a man! Oh, what? Alex says that’s not confirmed. But we know an Adam’s apple when we see one. Anyway, back to “Fake Girl.” She was actually recorded on the radio saying, “We never said anything like this was a true story….it’s just an essay. We do essays all the time.” Since Webster defines “essay” as, “an analytic or interpretative literary composition usually dealing with its subject from a limited or personal point of view,” what kind of pov do you think Priscilla Ceballos is coming from where a father who never served in the military is killed in the Iraq war?

Gay Shrink: Umm the POV of watching several hours of telenovelas, “Judge Judy”, and “Survivor”—people lie all the time to get what they want.

Guanabee: True. And who are we to begrudge a little ol’ chola from Dallas? But, no! Let’s say you’re meeting Priscilla for a first time consult. She walks in and sits on your couch. The first thing you see are those eyebrows. Give us your knee-jerk professional opinion.

Gay Shrink: This drag queen needs help.

Guanabee:: Adam’s apple! But seriously Doc, what about the chilren? (sic) What kind of affect can this experience (& those eyebrows) have on a young child?

Gay Shrink: She is learning that truth is a construct that, in this case, is just as much under mommy’s control as mommy’s eyebrows. Priscilla probably had a unibrow, felt bad about it, shaved it off and penciled in her new ones. A perfectly valid option, but certainly a distortion of her truth. She’s created a new reality. On a more significant scale, when she couldn’t provide tickets for her daughter to attend this concert, she distorted the truth (avoided dealing with her disappointment and her daughters disappointment) and taught her daughter the truth doesn’t matter— “I will provide you with a new dad, a sad story, and those coveted tickets”—the truth is irrelevant. Learn that at six and you can be CEO of Enron at 50.

Guanabee: And here we are blowing balls for cheddar. Speaking of learning, what did you think of the little girl wearing the blonde wig (in this news clip) as part of her Hannah Montana makeover? It was like something out of a bad Hugh Grant movie where the audience learns that the media has no soul.

Gay Shrink: Ever since Jon Benet Ramsey, I take issue with children playing dress up, but at least Jon Benet knew how to work the makeup and hair. With the news blocking out this girl’s face in the clip, it looked as if Cousin It won the contest.

Guanabee: Yes, but a blonde Cousin It which is so much more racially pure. Any parting thoughts for our readers and, more importantly, for Ms. Ceballos?

Gay Shrink: Priscilla contributes to the debate on nature vs. nurture. We have an impressionable six year old being groomed by her mother to lie cheat and steal. The mother displays grandiosity and a sense of entitlement—while in many Latins this is simply passion [Ed. Note: Oh is that what we’re calling it?]—in this case, it is pathological and represents how a some people feel the world owes them and how those people behave accordingly. This mother should save the money she spends on eybrow pencils, and put it towards some therapy.