Your Friendly Neighborhood Farc? Still Terrorists

Hot bitch Javier Solana, the European Union’s foreign policy chief, declared that the Farc will remain on its terror list, despite Venezuelan Hugo Chavez’s insistence that they’re just freedom fighters or tooth fairies or whatever the hell he said:

“The answer is no. There is no reason to change our position,” said EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana after talks with Colombia’s president.

Baby. Say it again.

“The answer is no.”

Now whisper it.

“The answer is no.”

Now with a funny accent.

“Zee ansah eez no.”

Uhhh… yes! Yes! Yes. Now, please. Continue:

Earlier this month, the Venezuelan president urged the US and European governments to stop treating Colombian left-wing rebel groups as terrorists.

After helping to broker the release of two high-profile hostages, Mr Chavez said the Farc and the National Liberation Army (ELN) were armies with a political project and should be recognised as such if peace talks were to progress.

The Colombian president immediately rejected his call and the EU has supported his stance.

“Uribe has our full support in the battle he is waging against terrorism. The terrorists must free the hostages with no conditions,” said Javier Solana following the talks in Brussels.

We are incredibly turned on. Disagree if you must, babies. The buzzing will be too loud to hear you.

EU to keep Farc on ‘terror list’ [BBC]